Telephobia

Heard in an Avoiders Anonymous meeting:
Man: "Hello, my name is Miska, ..uhm.. and I'm an avoider!"
All: "Hello, Miska!"
Chairman: "What do you avoid, Miska?"
Miska: "I avoid the telephone. Whenever I need to make an important telephone call, I procrastinate. Sometimes I invent reasons why I can't call right then. Excuses, really. Like the other day, I wanted to call Finland and it was to a firm I hadn't been in contact before. I sat down at my desk with my telephone at 10AM and I told myself that soon they are going out to lunch in Finland. What if I disturb somebody and make them uncomfortable at the other end?"
Chairman: "What else?"
Miska: "What would I say, how would I introduce myself. I'm not a salesman, you know. Neither do I want to be one!"
Chairman: "What did you do?"
Miska: "Instead of calling, I started cleaning the house. It was crazy. I would rather vacuum the whole apartment than make one lousy phone call. That's what I'm afraid, you know. Making a lousy phone call. Not being able to turn the conversation to my subject."
Chairman: "How long did this take?"
Miska: "Well, the vacuuming maybe an hour, but then it was time for lunch. Once I almost called, it was really close. I had my finger on the button, I was just one press away from dialing. Luckily, or unfortunately, at that moment I received a new email, which distracted me enough."
Chairman: "Did you call at all?"
Miska: "No, by the time I had poured myself a glass of water and adjusted my mind, I thought the people in Finland would be going home already. There is one hour time difference. It is driving me nuts!"
Man from the crowd: "THAT'S not avoidance! You're not an AVOIDER! He's an impostor!"
Miska: "What?"
All: "WHAT?"
Man from the crowd: "I'm a psychologist. The symptoms indicate a bad case of telephobia!"
Chairman: "Telewhat?"
Psychologist: "Telephobia is the illogical and terrible fear of telephones. The sufferers usually cannot make any phone calls and pay the price for that."
Chairman: "How?"
Psychologist: "Well, think about it. Telephobics cannot order pizza or reserve tickets to events. It is terrible. "
Chairman: "Is there a cure?"
Psychologist: "Not exactly a cure, but the internet has helped many telephobics to get their lives back, as ironic as that sounds. Although in the most extreme case, the telephobic cannot connect to the internet, because his modem needs to make a call."
All: "Ooh, how irritating!"
---
Miska: "..And that's where I woke up. What do you make of it, Doctor?"
Doctor: "Interesting. Do you have any other phobias? Arachnophobia, claustrophobia, agoraphobia, vertigo?"
Miska: "Not that I know of, but now that you mention I kind of feel dizzy lying on the couch at this height and closed in, like the ceiling is gonna come crashing down and reveal that I am under clear blue skies on wide open spaces and there are spiders attacking from all sides. Oh, no, I'm gonna be sick!"
Doctor: "NOT ON THE FLOOR ...oh, I can buy a need carpet."